This is the story of how I became worthy of the name Ta'hech Suvan.
This story is true and the facts are as I had witness them. His story
you will read , happened in the spring and summer months of 2006. I
have know the Joy and sorrow of a Father. For my Son I am
dedicating this to you.
A moment in my Arms ~A lifetime in my Heart
Please remember that the gifts the spirits and Gods bring into your life
is both unexpected, heart wrenching and Life altering. And to them I
will ever be eternally grateful.
In tribute and Honor of "Tito" Hector Gonzales
This is a very different situation- I am placing this as a final tribute to
my "spiritual" Son.
For me the spirits are a daily part of my life- One soul touched me
deeply on a level that I am very humbled to have had the honor to help
this child finally find peace.
To those who will or don't believe what I write- That is your right-
However the feelings and the tears I have shed over this child to me is
a different story.
Here is the story of my Son and the final realise and happiness he and
his brother are at.
A couple of months ago a good friend of mine- moved into a house, I
was asked to fell the land and see what I could feel. I went out and
opened up to the spirits of the land The land was in good shape just
needed some TLC.
The side of the house stands 2 large Frasier firs trees- Well in a nut
shell- They were pissed at me- for what reason at that time I could not
tell. It was a solid barrier that was a feeling of pure loathing- Now that
was the first time I had ever come across such hatred and I did not do
anything. I talked to the trees to reassure them (the trees were female-
Mother/grandmother in feeling)- I had my friend talk to them. Well after
a couple of minutes of reassurance- they let me pass- but were
watching me to "fuck" up.
On the back end of the house by the fence and shed was a patch of
sparse grass that my friend wanted to put her outdoor alter to Macha.
Well the felling I got at first was loneliness or being alone-. I first
thought a land spirit and suggested a offering to appease it.
I went and finished up the rest of the land- nothing to out of the
ordinary- Except I was drawn back to the area at the back by the fence.
This time when I approached it I was overcome with the feeling of
anguish, lonely, scared, crying. In less them 5 minutes Everything
happened-
A image flashed in my head of a little Hispanic boy cowering by the
fence- howling/crying- My own eyes start to tear up at the plight of this
child- The message I got from my spirits was Murder- and Tito- The
child Tito sensed my spirits and myself looking right at him (one of the
gift I have been given back is to see spirits- rarely as clearly as I saw
Tito.
Out of my mouth was "I will be your father- Don't cry I will protect and
care for you- Let me help you.
Dumas- The spirit of my double head Drum- came into my mind and I
asked permission to use him as a holding vessel to support Tito until I
can get him home. At the same time Thunder the spirit of my
Pow-wow drum roared in and no-less told me that once Tito is home
and secure to put on him Thunder. Now you must understand
Thunder is a very stand-offish very proud spirit. We have an
understanding that Nothing I mean nothing is to be placed on his drum
head or he get very pissed- Well for Thunder to offer himself as a Big
brother from Tito floored my ass and I gain a deeper respect and love
for Thunder.
Side note- Calypso- My Spirit filled Conga drum- could have cared less-
My drum spirits are a odd bunch- But I digress.
I had my friend go get Dumas from my car while I continue to talk to
Tito to calm him down and assure him it will be alright. Now Tito is
about 6-8 years old as I saw him, Except for Thunder my other drums
has Rainbow Stone beads on them- I gave Tito one of the Dumas
beads with a dolphin on it- and he smile for the first time- That seemed
to gain his trust.
I placed Dumas on the Ground and Tito enter it- When I picked up
Tito/Dumas he was giggling- you could feel the drum heads vibrate.
Side note: - The trees who were so angry with me- I got the feeling
they were testing me- to see what I would do with Tito- Well they
seems pleased- Not overly happy but enough I had passed their test.
I talked with Tito on the way home- In Voudon and Native culture a
spirit has to be In a vessel to contain its essence and keep the energy
focused. Now Tito had seen my mind and he wanted a Troll pirate doll
as his vessel (you have to understand I am referring to the Troll dolls
from the 70s early 80s. I hate them Max my husband loves them- I cant
stand them- so I was so thrilled that Tito chose the troll doll.
Well When I got home- I could not find that Pirate doll- so I used a
purple Teddy Bear Max got for me on our 2nd date. Well Tito pass
into the Teddy and I put him on Thunder. Over the next week I got him
a baby blanket and some toys to play with- and told Tito he can
explore the house Just don't scare anyone.
About 2 weeks later I was talking to a friend who had grown up in the
area. It seems that 10 years ago 2 Hispanic boys- one 6 or 8 and one
12 were playing super heroes with towels around their necks as
capes- (now understand my friend had no idea what had transcribed
but she knew of the feeling of loneliness that was connected to the
land) it seems they were riding their bikes when the little one (Tito)
towel/cape got stuck in the spokes of his or a bike pulling him
resulting in snapping his neck- killing him. 8 years later his brother
committed suicide blaming himself for his brothers death.
I knew what had to be done then- I had to find Tito brother I later found
out was named Juan. Well flash forward to 06/06/06- Yesterday- The
spirits had finally had enough with me dragging my feet- That
afternoon I sent out my spirits to track down Juan for I knew that he
could not pass without Tito and Tito needed Juan .
Around 10:20 last night my spirit zoomed and I mean
zoomed back into my head (I was at Walmart at the time and almost
passed out) The spirits had found Juan and brought him with them.
Juan was a very excited but not very patient- I had to finish my
shopping and get ready - well all the way home and During my
shopping- he keep like those kids who continually asked (are we there
yet?"- I could not be angry with him for what hell he already had gone
thru.
The ceremony was simple- I opened up to the spirits and allowed
whoever was guiding this situation to take the lead. I/we go the teddy
bear and talked to it- I don't remember much - except I hugged the
teddy bear for a long time- Offering my prayers to the Great Mystery,
Obautla, Yemaja, Isis, and Bast- I asked that Tito and Juan be reunited
and whoever is there / his real family to meet them and help them pass
over.
I was allowed to a little vision of Tito and Juan hugging each other-
Tito turned in my direction and smiled and the vision went black.--I
returned to my senses and knew he was gone. During the ceremony-
after I had asked the Great Mystery- ither I saw and/or felt these 2 arms
come down and scoop Tito and lift him straight upwards.
I listen to the Return to Pooh Corner song this morning here at work
and I add my final goodbyes- I will miss him and even writing this I am
tearing up. But I know that his living nightmare hell is over with.
I did ask for forgiveness form Obatula and Tito for taking longer then I
should have to get him home- for whatever reason I did it- I had meant
no harm- I am new to full spiritual realise on this level.
This Blog is my final tribute , respect and love for my spiritual son who
became a part of my life even for a little bit of time- but had a effect on
me that I will never forget.
With all my love son- You are finally home-
Daddy.